Jenni Green

New Blog

60 Reasons Why Ron Green is Pretty Great

1. He knew how to rock a buzz cut with those baby blues.

#adorbs

#adorbs

2. He could also rock some sideburns.

#alsoadorbs

#alsoadorbs

3. He invented dad jokes before they were a thing.

4. Unfortunately (fortunately?) he starts laughing at the joke before getting to the punch line.

5. HOTLINE BLING*.

*The internet may or may not be ready for Ron's rendition of Hotline Bling, so please enjoy Drake's instead.

*The internet may or may not be ready for Ron's rendition of Hotline Bling, so please enjoy Drake's instead.

6. But lest you forget, he can also whip. And oh, he can most definitely nae nae. 

7. He keeps Miller Lite in business. #itsmillertime

8. He shamelessly promotes the Cowboys, despite 20+ years in DC.

Now this, THIS is loyalty. Tony forever. 

Now this, THIS is loyalty. Tony forever. 


9. He shamelessly promotes Blue Bell, despite PSU ice cream. What's listeria anyways? 

10. He shamelessly promotes everything, despite...everything.

11. He purchased the Vanilla Ice album...and only to listened to Ice Ice Baby.

12. 5,000 unread emails and rising.

That Best Buy Labor Day sale email from 2007 MIGHT come in handy one day. You never know. 

That Best Buy Labor Day sale email from 2007 MIGHT come in handy one day. You never know. 


13. Yet despite his advanced age, he is not afraid of technology. #yeshisiphoneisbetterthanmine

14. He's easy to spot in a crowd (read: those damn white socks).

Sweet legs, dad. 

Sweet legs, dad. 

15. Aunt Laurie says: "He's a great cheerleader for all of us when we need encouragement."

16. She also says: "He's a cheap house guest (again...Miller Lite!? Really!?)"

17. Uncle Luke says: "He enjoys doing outside chores even when it's not his house."

18. It's up for negotiation, but he MIGHT be the favored son-in-law. (Uncle Luke did NOT say this. We'll have to ask Nonnie.)

Only the favorite gets extra of Nonnie's sweet rolls.

Only the favorite gets extra of Nonnie's sweet rolls.

19. About 50% of the time, he can tell his daughters apart.

Seriously though, which one am I??

Seriously though, which one am I??

20. He WILL like your post on Facebook.

Because retirement would be so boring without Facebook.

Because retirement would be so boring without Facebook.

21. His yard is better than your yard. #always

22. He likes to start the day with a lively rendition of "I can't get 'em up, I can't get 'em up, I can't get 'em up in the MOOOOOOORNING."

Rudest. Wake-up. Ever. 

Rudest. Wake-up. Ever. 

23. Can we go back to his hair for just a second? Also...that jacket....????

24. Word on the street is all it took for Meredith's hand in marriage was a 6-pack of Miller Lite.

What a deal! 

What a deal! 

25. ... and he tolerates his son-in-law being a fan of that football team in Washington.

What football team?

What football team?

26. He lives for the playoffs, no matter the sport, and always pulls for the underdog.

27. Vacation Ron is the best Ron.

28. THIS:

29. It's pretty clear to everyone that he married up.

30. He embraces Halloween.

Rocking the mask since 1992. Stop making the neighbor kids cry, okay?

Rocking the mask since 1992. Stop making the neighbor kids cry, okay?

31. He will always encourage you to buy the bigger tv.

32. And he will ensure your apartment doesn't end up looking like this:

No one should suffer from cord management problems. 

No one should suffer from cord management problems. 

33. He ALMOST met Chip Gaines one time. Almost. #FixerUpper

So close...yet so far away. 

So close...yet so far away. 

34. He's been the most reliable (and cheapest) moving company we've ever worked with.

35. He knows the exact price of gas at any given station in Fairfax.

36. He still changes the oil in our cars.

37. And he exclusively uses Mobil One is said oil changes. #onlythebest

38. He'll make sure all of his Facebook friends know as much Texas history as possible.

Hook 'em horns, ya'll.

Hook 'em horns, ya'll.

39. His mom is hotter than your mom.

Seriously, she was a babe.

Seriously, she was a babe.

40. His wife is hotter than your wife.

Hi mom!!! You're so pretty :) 

Hi mom!!! You're so pretty :) 

41. He knows the importance of family and puts us before everything. 

42. He regularly helps those that are less fortunate than he.

43. Oh, did we also mention that supports those who have cancer by raising money and walking roughly 345,427,984 miles? #TNT #LLS #GoTeam!

44. He will drive you to different states for soccer and not complain about standing outside all day for multi-game tournaments.

45. He will only get carded or talked to by the ref half as much as you do.

46. He's a bigger fan of women's soccer than men's.... because he knows women PLAY SMARTER.

Duh. 

Duh. 

47. He only will make fun of Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman for the first five minutes of the show. (Maybe ten.)

"DAD. IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF SULLY'S HAIR, PLEASE LEAVE THE ROOM. SOME OF US ARE WATCHING."

"DAD. IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF SULLY'S HAIR, PLEASE LEAVE THE ROOM. SOME OF US ARE WATCHING."

48. If you haven't heard of Enya or Yanni, he will introduce you.

That hair. That mustache.

That hair. That mustache.

49. But you can always count on him to have Coldplay in 4 of the 5 CD slots in his car.

50. If he's teaching you to drive, he won't insult you by expecting you learn anything less than stick shift.

51. He grills a mean steak and will always invite you over to share.

52. Rachel says: "I love when Chez Ron brushes and blow dries my hair!" 

53. Katie says: "I'm thankful my mom has a great big brother. I know he must have always been there for mom because he's always there for and supportive of Rachel and I."

54. Jim says: "He's not afraid to dance on the beach in his black underwear!"

Jim is trying to act like he was not involved...but he is just as guilty. Photo not available. 

Jim is trying to act like he was not involved...but he is just as guilty. Photo not available. 

55. Logan says: (coming soon!)

56. Mia says: "He took in a scared, weird dog from the shelter and gave me a forever home."

57. Matt & Lawrie say: "We know that if we ever need anything we can call and Ron will be there."

58. Jenni says: "He's the perfect example of what it means to be there for you. He sets the bar pretty high."

59. Meredith & Pat say: "We love you! Thank you for everything that you do for us!"

60. Donna says: "He's a man who lives by his principles. The real deal—what you see is what you get. He's the finest man I know."


Ron Green (dad), you really are pretty great! A happiest 60th birthday! We love you very much xoxo

Jenni GreenComment